Back in the (Dressage) Saddle Again

They say you can't go back, and to some extent this is true. You can revisit, or revive what once was a great passion.  You can make it new, yet similar to what was once your everyday existence.  Last week I tried to go back. After a 20 year break not riding a horse, I decided to get back in the saddle, literally.

 My son loves horses and riding them.  As a much younger person horses were my obsession.  I started to get tired of just of watching his lessons from the in-gate. I wanted to be on the horse, I realized I was living vicariously through him.

So cut to the mounting block in the indoor arena, and me holding a very large Hanoverian gelding, trying to get my fat ass in the saddle. Why did I think this was a good idea? I could fall off this thing. And get hurt, really hurt. It was a long way down.

 After having to let the stirrup down and finally getting my leg over, I was up. It was awkward getting on to say the least, and it was embarrassing because I have gotten so fat and useless. I felt like a fool-- all I wanted to do was get down, and go home and be left alone. I will admit it, I was scared shitless. And I felt old, incredibly old.

All this was running through my head so fast, so much all at once, it took three times of my instructor saying "take a deep breath... breathe, breathe" until I heard her. Then I did what quite a few people do after getting on a horse again after many years do, I started to cry.

Yes, I thought that was a weird response too. My instructor (who has also been a close friend since high school) said it was a completely normal reaction and that it happens all the time. She said that horses bring out a lot of emotion in people. She left it at that and we got on with the lesson.

The half hour lesson (quite long enough, thank you) went okay. I did not fall off, and I did not embarrass myself too much-- mostly because no one was there watching. I gained a tremendous amount of respect for the talent, and incredible patience my friend / instructor has. I also realized that my son is a very talented rider. On the other hand I was absolutely disgusted with the crappy level of fitness I have and the fact I am so fat.

 Women give up a lot. I realize that this is not a new concept. I have given up my art, which was originally how I made a living before I married. I have given up my interests and hobbies due to the pressures of running our business and having a child.  I have given up most of our farming enterprises due to the fact it simply takes too much time and money, both of which need to go to other things. I am not complaining, just stating a fact. I regret none of these things. I am longing for a change, that's all, I am bored. I need to be out in the world more and do stuff. I have days that I want to run away from home.

I have been back to have another lesson since I first wrote this. This time it went a lot better. I actually had some moments of communication with the horse and a few times when I didn't feel like a lumbering idiot. It's amazing, that old muscle memory.



If you are looking for a place to ride I couldn't recommend this farm more highly. http://cadburywoodsfarm.com/

This is Cardos the horse I ride, with his fantastic trainer / owner-- and also my excellent instructor, aboard.

Catching Up

It seems like it has been weeks since I last posted anything. As usual the summer got away with us, and I have been trying to fit all the fun things in before the weather changes and school starts. Already our summer farm help starts collage next week. New England summers are short and there are many things required of you to enjoy it properly. There are traditions from my childhood that have now been passed on to our son Tristan that we simply have to do each summer. A day at the ocean, with lunch at a fish shack, and a trip to the candy store for salt water taffy is at the top of the list. We always host a lobster bake for all our relatives who are visiting, we had this last Sunday, it almost killed me -- I must be getting old. All the horseback riding we can fit in and a few afternoons at the lake, and a least one educational visit to an art museum take up quite a bit of time. There is also the not so fun stuff like canning, picking vegetables, weeding and getting the hay in.

Last Thursday we had an orphaned litter of kittens come in at the practice. They were just hours old, we have been feeding them every four hours and keeping them under a heat lamp. Out of the original five kittens, three have made it and are now off to a good start. We have all been taking turns keeping them at various staff members house's overnight so no one person has to get up with them every four hours.

The food situation is going great. Brookford Farm has got their stuff together and is getting their vegetables, meat, eggs and dairy all out on time when they say they will, and we have received all the right stuff. For ten weeks now we have not had store bought bread, I have made it all myself. All our cheese has been raw milk , grass fed cheeses, from Brookford. Our fruits and vegetables have been either from the CSA boxes or our own and we have been supporting our local farm stands by buying sweetcorn and blueberries.

 I have put a lot of kale and beets, and a bushel of corn in the freezer. We have made twenty four pints of various fruit jams, some for us and some I sent on with our visiting cousins. I have made a batch of zucchini relish, and bread and butter pickles. We have over four gallons of raspberries in the freezer too. Rob got the garlic in last week with Tristan's help and we had about a bushel of it.

Adelaide, our Jersey cow in milk, is almost done. she is only giving about a gallon of milk a day. I milk her just once a day. I want to keep her going until week twenty of our CSA. We are really thinking of signing up again for the Fall/Winter CSA ( I never thought I would say that). We will need the milk then. I would get the full diet share again and add on an extra dairy share. I would also try not to get their bread. We are still trying to pawn off our two loaves of bread each week on someone. Unfortunately, everyone is starting to catch on. Even the Salvation Army will no longer take it.

We are half way through the experiment. I would say it is very possible to eat local as long as you know how to cook and are willing to go the extra mile, plan ahead and be prepared to put a lot more time into cooking. After the last ten weeks the things we have noticed the most are more money in the checking account, way less garbage-- because if you don't bring the packaging in to the house you don't have to get rid of it-- and we have lost our taste for highly processed store bought food. I have noticed that I don't have as many mood swings, and Tristan is so much less crabby when he gets hungry. Can it be because we are not eating the additives anymore? We have changed our eating habits for the best. I am looking forward to the next ten weeks.

Off the Wagon

Sunday we went off the wagon. We woke up to a muggy hot day and said, “Let’s go for a ride in the air conditioned car for the day." Before you go all greenhouse effect on me, let me explain that the car is a plug-in Prius Hybrid.  Last week the car went 580 miles on a seven gallon tank of gas. So yes, while we did use some gas, we at least weren't riding around in a huge SUV.

We decided to go down to Portsmouth to the Traders Joe’s store. My idea was to check out the organic sugar and flour, and my husband's idea was to get chocolate -- lots of it! Trader Joe's is the only place we can get organic chocolate bars that are reasonably priced. There are, of course, tons of other temptations there as well, and it’s a chain grocery store, albeit a very crunchy granola one. Still we were out of quite a bit of stuff, which was making it hard for everyone to have a happy meal time. We got to the store and went in meaning to stick to the plan we had in mind, which was the flour, sugar, chocolate, and some bottles of vinegar, which  we had seemed to run out of all at once. I knew the minute we got there the plan would tank. Tristan was hungry. When Tristan gets hungry, he gets crabby, -- very crabby, like, throw him a candy bar and step away carefully, crabby.  As a matter of fact we were all hungry. The store was very busy and everyone in it was oblivious to the fact they were not the only ones in the store.

“Let’s make this very quick,” I said.

“You ain’t kiddin'," my husband replied.

We got the chocolate, grabbed the vinegars I wanted, but had no luck in the sugar and flour departments. I like King Arthur organic white flour, because I know the protein content and how it will act in my recipes. I needed to start mixing some white flour into some of the bread recipes I was making to temper the whole wheat, so the boys would actually eat what I made. Our chickens were getting fat from all the tail ends of bread they were tossed. Soaking whole wheat flour overnight in the liquid you use in the bread recipe helps a lot, but Tristan is still calling the pancakes I have been making “fart cakes”, due to the effect they have about 2:00 in the afternoon after he eats them.

There was no flour or sugar that would work. The sugar was organic, but at a much higher price than I would normally pay, so no dice. There is no sense paying more for what I could get at the regular store for about a dollar less a bag. I did get two bags of organic powdered sugar that I would have had to special order online, so that was good.

We threw the stuff in the cart, filled up our organic cotton, reusable shopping bags like good little environmentally conscious people, paid and left. The next step was to feed Tristan before he killed anyone, and for that matter, feed myself, because the apple does not fall far from the tree.

Panera has been a popular place with us ever since one of the drug reps that visits our practice dropped off a big bag of bagels to our staff one day. I took the leftovers home and they were really good. After we visited the one in Concord, we were hooked. I spied a Panera over in the next mall and off we went. Now I know that in our rules we said no chain restaurants, but I can get a pretty decent meal there, like a salad I actually want to eat, and feel like I’m not eating bad food. I think it’s getting to be such a popular place that I want to see if they are a publicly held company, so I can buy their stock.  We all had a good lunch, and with everyone in a better temper, I had one more stop before we went home.

There was a Market Basket grocery store in the same strip mall as Panera. I know what you're saying, "Nooo ... don't do it!" But I had to have sugar for jam and relish making. I decided to do a surgical strike and get the sugar and flour. I just wanted to get in and out. It was okay. It was within the rules. We had talked about it. I left everyone else in the car and went in.

Inside, it was blissfully cold. There were people everywhere. I grabbed a cart and went directly to the baking aisle not looking anywhere but straight ahead. Six bags of flour and the same of sugar, to the checkout and I was out of there. I didn't even think of buying anything else.

We started home and it was still pretty early in the day so we took a detour and went to see if a farm where we used to go to pick peaches and blueberries was still there. Sadly the property had been sold and all the fruit trees cut down. We continue on up the ridge and drove by the Taylor and Brown blueberry fields. This company grows many of the berries sold at farm stands around the area. The berries are the tiny, sweet mountain berries, and they make the most awesome pies. It looked like the berries were just about ready to rake. They had their "No Trespassing" signs out everywhere. No chance of a free sample for us. We went home from there. On the main roads there was too much traffic and too many people. I was glad to get home to our peace and quiet. My husband says I need to get out more. I think I need to stay home more.

Week 5

This has been the weirdest summer of my life. Weather wise we have been in a cool, rainy pattern since spring. While it is officially summer now and after the Fourth of July, it has warmed up only just this week. Many crops are coming in later than usual, or not at all. Hay production has been an ordeal. To get just part of a field in you need three days of clear weather, and four is better. Unfortunately, it seems to rain every other day. Most farms that grow strawberries have had mold problems because of the wet weather. If you like broccoli, you are in luck. It has been an outstanding year for this vegetable. All around, this has been a difficult year for growers.

It has been weird for my family in more ways than the weather. We are doing some renovations on our house which has caused quite a bit of upheaval. Due to the chimney fire we had in the spring, the whole chimney will be torn out in September and redone. Since we rely on the wood stove for our heat and cooking this is making me anxious, because I like things all settled before the cold weather sets in. Our wood supply is not in yet, and we are going into the winter with no cows in milk, which has never happened in the ten years since we have had cows. Also, my whole focus has shifted from outside on the farm to taking on more management responsibilities at the practice. We have taken on an associate veterinarian to help us, and the business is growing fast. I have more responsibilities than I ever dreamed of. None of this is necessarily bad, just different.

What’s this have to do with the blog, you say? Nothing really, but part of the weirdness is the way we are eating, and the project that goes along with it -- the project my husband is now starting to call more often than not “the weird local eating, not going to the store project that my wife is doing.” Tristan calls it “the blog thing.” I am sensing a small loss of interest on their part, and a wish to go back to the store. (Yes, some slight sarcasm here.)  Really, we are not eating that weirdly. We are eating meat, fish, excellent cheeses, a lot of veggies, and our bread products which are all homemade from whole wheat flour. Some of the meals we have are successes and some are complete bombs. The meals that bomb are the reason we have a lot of homemade ice cream in stock. If what I make completely sucks I just tell them you can have ice cream after dinner and the pout faces usually clear up.

But wait. All this food came from New Hampshire, didn’t it? Much of it is also home grown and organic. That is weird. No one eats like that. A month ago I would have said we eat pretty well, I now look back and realize I had no clue. Almost every food item coming into the house now doesn't have a label on it. That is because it is real whole food. The pantry is now down to glass jars filled with what we use. Jars that can go back to the health food store, and be refilled. There are no more jars of stuff from the store. Most of our store-bought can goods are gone except beans, pumpkin and cans of tomatoes. Our freezer is filled with our own meats and berries, and whatever veggies I have started to put up. The fridge has milk, cheese, butter, jam, vegetables and a few stray condiments. There could possibly be a beer or two in there as well. No one is starving. We are now eight hundred dollars ahead in the checking account because I have not been grocery shopping at a “normal” store. I have lost seven pounds. No way in hell am I stopping this little project right now. I just keep saying to myself, “one more week.”

This was week five, and we had wonderful surprises in our veggie box this time. Two eggplants, which I have never cooked with, and some bok choy, also something I have never used. We received two heads of lettuce, which I gave away because we have tons coming in from our garden. Cucumbers! My absolute favorite vegetable of all time. Those I polished off for lunch. Basil and kale -- I knew I would have to deal with it at some point. I have been looking up recipes for the eggplant and I’m thinking Baba Ganoush. I can make some pita breads from our flour share to go with it. For the bok choy I found a recipe for bok choy with garlic sauce. Snow peas -- I forgot about those! These are Tristan’s favorite and he will munch on those raw for snacks. Scallions too, we love them, and three tiny zucchini. A great veggie week. All the vegetables were fresh and clean and well packed, and they came very early.

For dairy we chose two raw milk cheddar and one smoked cheddar, which is the best smoked cheese I have had anywhere. At some point in time we are supposed to get some broiler chickens which we are really starting to look forward to. I think maybe they haven't slaughtered yet. Our one dozen eggs came along with three bags of flour, I didn't get the message to them in time about what kind of flour I wanted. So they sent all three kinds, which was very nice, but I need to send two back. I will call them about this. If they are willing, maybe I can just keep them and not get any more flour until week thirteen. I was going through a lot of flour at first, but now it has slowed down due to the boys waning enthusiasm for whole wheat bread products. Our most fantastic meal of the week was Brookford’s pork chops on the grill with homemade BBQ sauce, and roasted beets with lemon and cultured butter. Sweet beets, and yummy porky goodness. It tasted like a very happy pig.

My next little bit of housekeeping is about the farm’s customer service, their quality, and the flurry of messages on our answering machine. Evidently the employees at Brookford have been reading my blog. (Hi, guys.) I am flattered. Actually quite a lot of people have been reading it. I am surprised. Anyway, I have had a few messages on the machine responding to some of the things I have said here. My understanding is that the managers at the farm are trying very hard to get things under control and are starting to do a good job at getting it all sorted. The quality of the vegetables have improved, and the farm now calls us back if we have a question or problem. It is my understanding that in addition to managing a particular part of the farm’s operation these employees go to farmers’ markets and could possibly be doing some other chores as well. This is possibly the biggest problem they have, if this is true. I have found in a business the manager must do just that, manage. The manager needs to have a working knowledge of all aspects of the business, but not be expected to routinely help with the general operations.

Some of our milkers, enjoying their hay.

After returning phone calls and emails, dealing with customers who are dissatisfied with their products, checking on quality control, meeting with the other heads of departments they must be tired. Is their manager spending anytime visiting drop off sites? Maybe dropping in to the Concord Co-op to see why they are telling customers that they are out of Brookford farm eggs and don't know when there will be more, as we overheard when we were there? Riding along for a day with one of the delivery people? Doing some random calling to families who have the expensive whole diet share to ask how it's going? If the answer to these questions is, "I would but I don't have time because I am going to the Farmers’ market today," then there’s a problem. Maybe a farm is different? No, it shouldn't be. It is first and foremost a small business. A business’ purpose is to make money, and for its employees to be able to earn a living. If a business is also a sustainable farm, that is providing a secure food source for a lot of New Hampshire residents, and providing a source of employment for people whose lifelong ambition is to farm, awesome.

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The front garden, with potatoes, onions, garlic and leaks.

The First Month

A month has passed. For the last four weeks, we have been using up what we had in our household food pantry and freezer. We received a box each week from our CSA farm share and have gotten a fish share from the local fishermen's co-op. At this time we have run out of, or run low on, many items. We need to decide what to buy more of and what we are going to do without. This needs to be a family decision.

After the first month I wanted to go over what we had received from our shares and see if the price we pay each week is comparable to what I would pay if I had just gone out and bought all the stuff. First off, I will say that I am very happy with our fish share. The fish is fresh, of a different variety each week and there is plenty of it. They often give us more than two pounds.The fish always arrives by the time they say it will, packed in plenty of ice in well-labeled bags. signing up for the fish was a good value. I could not get the same thing at the store. This costs us twenty dollars a week.

The CSA from Brookford Farm has been a different story. I will list below what we have received from them this month.

Meat

• 1 rib steak
• 1 small rib steak
• 1 shoulder steak
• 2 lbs. hamburger
• 1 lb. bacon
• 1 lb. pork sausage
• 1 lb. ground pork
• 1 lb. beef short ribs
• 2 small pork chops
• 1 country sparerib piece

Vegetables

• 7 heads green lettuce
• 3 bunches garlic scapes
• 2 bags of lettuce mix
• 2 quarts strawberries
• 4 6-ounce bags spinach
• 4 summer squash
• 3 zucchini
• 2 bunches swiss chard
• 4 beets
• 1 small bag peas
• 8 bunches of mixed herbs

Dairy and Flour

• 10 6-oz. blocks of cheddar
• 1 6-oz. block bleu cheese
• 1 6-oz. tub butter
• 4 doz. eggs

• 9 lbs. flour
• 8 loaves of bread

All this food is organically produced, and the meat and dairy from grass fed animals. The wheat for the flour is grown by the farm. I have estimated what I would have paid, if I was buying the equivalent at a farm stand.

Meat and bread $151.00  

Veggies  $107.00

Dairy and Flour $159.00  

This comes to $417.00. I have to say I made the prices quite high. I know that I could get some of the things we received for quite a bit less. So what we actually paid for this food this month was $472.00, that is our share price which is $118 a week. Some of the vegetables were not usable. I threw out about half the peas because the were so old and gone by that no one would eat them. I would in no way have bought them in that condition at a farm stand. Some of the strawberries were rotten and some were under ripe. The farm did say that they were having staff problems and it has been a very wet year. All the farms around us are having trouble with their growing conditions. The second bag of lettuce mix was mostly yellow and slimy. Once again nothing I ever would have bought. The squashes were over handled but edible. My husband had a sneaking suspicion that some of this produce had gone out to market and came back unsold, and then went into CSA boxes. Seriously, what are you going to do if you get it in your box, take it back?  The dairy and meat is excellent. We were supposed to get some broiler chickens. Two per month I believe, but we have not received any yet. The eggs are good. The flour works for us. The bread we get with our share is just okay, and I must say I have started to resent it because it is something that I need to find a way to use up. I don't want to eat it and neither does anyone else in the family, but we are stuck with it. I realize that this is a matter of taste, but this bread could be so much better. Yesterday I received an email from the farm in which they went over the problems they were having with their harvests. I know that these things happen, and that is part of the deal of signing up with a CSA. I hope the weather improves and they are able to offer better quality produce. I also hope that they will be more careful with their quality control. After having talked to the farm now a few times, I think they are trying harder, and are aware of the problems.

For us the food bill was paid for a month ago. We went into this with the idea that we would stick out the twenty weeks. Some people have asked why don't we ask for our money back and I have considered this more than once. At this time I consider it an experiment, a project, something we can talk and laugh about. I have already learned so much about us as a family. One of those things is that we have it good. We know how to produce much of our own food. We are lucky to have a farm and be able to eat really well, fairly cheaply. Another is that if we are trying all sorts of new things. New vegetables, different recipes, and we are liking most of them. Tristan has been especially good about trying new things and eating what I ask him to without complaints (not many, anyway). We have all taken this seriously and I think we are all interested to see how it goes for us. I have days when I want to quit. I want to go shopping and get the familiar foods we all want and that are easy.  I know if I do we will go back to our old ways quickly. I want us to change, and not rely on the store so much. I can now see how much money I was wasting by popping into the store  every time I wanted something. I would go in and spend fifty dollars each time. I would try not to, but it just seemed to always happen. In our inventory of food we were overstocked. That’s no way to run a business, and what is a household, but a kind of small business?

A Shopping Trip, and Some Rules.

It has been pointed out to me by my husband -- who can be a smart ass -- that we need some rules in this "eating local" adventure. Sunday morning after waking up to pouring rain and high winds, we decided to go to Concord. Concord is the capital city of New Hampshire and the nearest shopping Mecca. Rob needed some new shirts for work and I wanted to check out the Concord Food Co-op, which is the largest health food store around us. When I mentioned I wanted to go there it went something like this.

“You said we weren’t supposed to go to a store,” my husband said.

“I meant like a big grocery store, like Shaw’s,” I replied.

“The co-op sells groceries,” he said. “I’m pretty sure they sell quite a lot of groceries.”

“Well yes, but they're different groceries,” I countered.

“Oh, different, I see,” he said with that grin he has when he’s teasing me, and which also irritates the crap out of me.

“They have organic stuff I can’t get at Shaw’s, they have a ton of local products and if we shop there we’re supporting a local business, so it’s okay,” I said.

“So what are the rules then, exactly?” he said with the same grin. "I need to be clear on this."

“Well, it’s like ... I don't know, just no big, chain grocery stores, I guess, and no Sam’s club, definitely not Sam’s," I reasoned. "We are still using up some stuff we had so I hadn't really thought about it that much yet."

“Okay, well we need some rules,” he said, rather pompously. “First, no chains, no Sam’s and no Walmart.” he said.

“Okay.” I agreed.

“We can go to any farm stand we want and buy their stuff as long as it’s grown by them," he said.

“Okay,” I said.

“You can buy stuff for canning, as long as it’s organic," he said. "Tristan will have a fit if you don’t make strawberry jam.”

“I didn’t even think of that, actually.” I replied. “So, okay”

“We can go out for an occasional meal as long as we choose the place carefully, no chain restaurants,” he decided.

“Well, we don't do that anyway,” I said.

“I’m just saying," he retorted. "We have to be clear here."

“Okay, what else?” I asked, getting impatient.

“I think that’s about it," he said. "Just when we run out of something, we’ll talk about it and decide what and where to buy.”

“Right,” I answered. It was my turn to grin. I knew he was thinking about his chocolate supply.

We went to the co-op, and there was not really much we needed. I bought a bag of organic lemons and some cheese from a couple of local producers. At our local health food store here in Laconia, I bought a bottle of organic vanilla extract and I will probably go back there for bulk olive oil and organic sugar when we are out.

This week we have had a couple of memorable meals. For our Sunday morning breakfast we had pancakes with the whole wheat pastry flour from the CSA, with some of their bacon. We still have a good supply of our own maple syrup, which we used. With big glasses of strawberry milk along side this was definitely the best meal of the week. I made a casserole of the CSA's ground beef, eggs and cheese. We had this with a side dish of Swiss chard, cooked with garlic and some leftover bacon grease. This was memorable for the fact I didn't like it, but the boys ate it right down, I was just relieved to get through the meal and use up something from our share. Unfortunately we went out to eat too much. The day we went to Concord we ate out at our favorite Mexican place, I knew we would end up there if we were anywhere near Concord. On Tuesday we got take out pizza. Tristan had an opportunity to have a longer riding lesson so by the time we got home it was very late. This often happens on Tuesdays, so I must plan better that day. I keep forgetting that everything takes longer to make. Pretty much all convenience food has now been eliminated from our house so, for instance, if we want tacos, I might have everything to make them but the taco shells, so then I have to make them from scratch, and sometimes it's just too much.

On another note we had an interesting request from Brookford Farm, evidently the woman who is in charge of the CSA at the store where we pick up our stuff, can't handle all the work of the CSA with everything else she does, so we got a call from the farm asking us if we wanted to take over. I said yes because for one thing, I can see how this whole thing works from the farm's side, and I can maybe be better organized (I couldn't be much worse). So of course, today was the week four pick up, and the farm wanted to change the delivery to us right away. I said okay if they could inform the people getting their boxes of the new location. Yes, they said, of course we will! So I arranged everything with our office staff to receive the boxes and get things put away in the fridge and freezer. I checked who would get what from the farm's spread sheets and made sure to go over all the directions the farm emailed me. I found out that there were only three boxes being delivered, one of those ours. So I checked my email this morning first thing to make sure that the farm had informed the people of the new location, but no, I had an email saying the same old thing, which was don't forget to pick up your box at the old location. I can now see what some of the problem is. Then after a talk with the former CSA person at the store I can see we are probably doomed. She can't say enough bad things about the farm, their organisation and their products.. She has put up with three years of the wrong orders, crappy produce and spoiled meat. She actually suggested we try to get our money back. Oh, great.

June 29, 2015

Things are looking up. We have food to eat this week, quite a lot actually. Rob had to pick up our food shares this week by himself. I had to be at a horse show with Tristan, which was fun but exhausting. Six kids and six ponies all had to be cleaned up, kitted out, hauled to the show, and then watched carefully once there for impending disasters. It just about killed me. I wasn't even the one in charge. I was just helping. Anyway, he picked everything up for us. This week we got the flour! I was so excited. This was also a meat week and we were given six pounds of pork, and six pounds of beef! I really had no hope that we would get the meat, so I was pleasantly surprised.  Evidently they forgot, or just plain didn't know about the previous three pounds of beef we got before. I'm not telling them. So in all this glorious meat we had two pounds of hamburger, short ribs, two more of the yummy steaks, two pork chops, a good size piece of pork shoulder, a package of breakfast sausage, a pound of ground pork and a pound of bacon. This is supposed to last us a month. We are also due to get two broiler chickens next week. Because we have a good supply of meat already in our freezer this seemly small amount does not worry me, I think it might be too little for most families, but I don't know how much meat the average family of three would eat each week.

For our dairy share we received one block of cheddar, one blue cheese and a small 6 oz. tub of cultured butter. Cultured butter has a slightly yogurt taste to it because the cream is left to mature before it is made into butter, while I don't love it, the butter was well made. It is waxy in texture, not greasy.  I did not ask for butter and once again our order was messed up -- I had asked for two cheddars -- but I am so pleased with the quality of Brookfords dairy products that I didn't really care. I can tell you though I will not drink their raw milk until I get a look at their milk room and bulk tank. I also will ask them for a look at their milk counts. Milk counts are the test results for bacteria, somatic cell count and coli form counts in the milk. These test results tell you how clean the milk is. New Hampshire has different standards for raw milk than milk that will be pasteurized. Basically raw milk is held to the same counts as pasteurized milk after it has been pasteurized, but milk going to a plant to be pasteurized can be "dirtier" because they are going to boil the living daylights out of it. Constant vigilance and having very high standards of cleanliness, is the only way to do it.

So on to the veggies. Lettuce again this week, two bags of spinach, a bunch of Swiss chard, garlic scapes, a ridiculous sized bag of dill and cilantro, which yes, was actually in a bag this time. A bunch of basil (not in a bag, therefore wilted), four zucchini and a quart of very ripe and somewhat fuzzy strawberries. The strawberries I saved by picking out the moldy ones and blitzing the remainder of the good ones in the food processor to make a base for strawberry ice cream.

The flour that we have been waiting for was a three pound bag of whole wheat pastry flour and a three pound bag of whole wheat bread flour. I made my hamburger roll recipe with the pastry flour on Friday night. The rolls came out ok for using all whole wheat, they were a bit crumbly but had a nice nutty flavor. We had cheeseburgers with The CSA’s cheddar cheese, lettuce and their hamburger. I even made mayonnaise this week which I love on burgers. So we actually ate one whole meal from the CSA. Cool.

When Rob went in to pick up our box at the store, the owner was there. He had a very interesting conversation with her about Brookfield Farm and their CSA. She said she has been trying to get out of being a distribution place for the CSA for a while now. This is due to the farm constantly messing up orders and her constantly getting yelled at by unhappy customers. She also has a problem with them returning phone calls, they simply don’t. This week she had ordered a case of eggs and only received one dozen, so the CSA is out of luck and so are her customers that buy their eggs there. We got the dozen eggs only because Rob was the first one to pick up. I feel sorry for the customers that have signed on for this CSA and I feel sorry for the farm itself, I want this type of agriculture to succeed, but farmers must also be good business people or have the smarts to hire a good manager when they get in over their head.

Surviving the Week

June 23, 2015

We made it through another week. I feel like I am always cooking, and that all the cooking takes longer. Every bread product we want to eat will now have to be made from scratch or will have to be the bread we get from our CSA share (yuck!). The very last of the store bought English muffins were used up, and we maybe have three bagels left. For most breakfasts this week we had eggs. It’s a good thing we have about 24 of our own chickens producing eggs, as well as a dozen eggs we get in our share. This week we went through 4 dozen eggs. Most lunches were the last of the bagels with goat cheese, or fried egg sandwiches. On a very hectic day, when Tristan had his riding lesson, and we had a bunch of errands, we went to Burrito Me, which is this hipster burrito place in Laconia. While this little restaurant is not really my favorite place because it is seriously filthy inside (and my standards are not that high), Tris loves it and the food is locally sourced and it is fresh, real food.  Dinner on Wednesday was Hake fillet and a steak, from the CSA and our Community seafood share.

Pippa the Border Collie, thinking the steak looks pretty good.

 The steak was tender and flavorful. The fish was fresh and similar to Cod. We had asparagus and salad with all dinners this week, except the night we had burgers. The burgers on our own homemade rolls are very popular with the boys, and the rolls make good sandwiches. I will include the recipe here at the end of this post. We used up a box of store spaghetti, and our own ground beef, with some canned Muir Glen tomatoes. We had twice baked potatoes with the cheese from our dairy share, and a mix of herbs from the garden.

One popular thing I made for me and Tristan, was strawberry milk. I take a quart of milk, add 5 or 6 strawberries to it, a tablespoon of honey, and about an ounce of buttermilk. I then blend it up with a stick blender. Slightly sweet, frothy and tangy, it’s just perfect.

We are getting sick of eating a piece of meat with a side of vegetable for every dinner. This weekend I’m going to try for lasagne, which will be made the hard way, with homemade pasta, and homemade ricotta and mozzarella. I have done this before and it takes most of the day. I will make a big one and freeze a good portion of it for later.

I made two desserts this week, a raspberry sorbet from some frozen last-year's berries, and a chocolate cream pie. I would say most of the food we have eaten this week was from our homegrown food supply and from our leftover store bought food. Very little was from our CSA share, maybe only one quarter if that.

On another note, I have noticed I have more money in the checking account, about 400 dollars more, because I haven’t shopped in two weeks, and we are eating less and wasting less. I stop and think before I chuck sometime in the garbage, or throw it to the chickens. Something else strange I noticed this week -- though more money is definitely strange -- was the look of the inside of our fridge. At first I couldn't pinpoint it, but after several times of putting food in and rearranging things, I figured it out. It was because most of the food did not have a label on it.  What had labels were the condiments on the door and that was about it. It gave the fridge a very streamlined look, you could see the food, and just the food.

Here is a recipe I’m now making about once a week. These rolls are soft, rich and soak up the juices from the hamburgers. It is well worth the time it takes to make these compared to your store bought rolls.  We use all organic ingredients for this recipe. You can substitute half of the white flour with whole wheat if you must, but I urge you to try them first with all white flour. These rolls freeze well and are great with all kinds of other sandwich fillings.

Worth the effort to make.

Hamburger Rolls

Yield: 8 rolls

3 ½ cups flour

2 1/4 teaspoon or 1 packet instant yeast

1 cup very warm water

1 egg

3 Tablespoons sugar

3 Tablespoons salted butter, melted

1 egg and 1 tsp. of water combined for egg wash

sesame seeds for sprinkling on top (optional)

Combine yeast, ½ of the water and  ½  cup of the flour in a bowl and whisk together. Let this mixture set until it starts to foam, it should look like the foam on the head of a beer.

Add the egg, sugar, salt, butter, and the remaining water. Mix well.

Place in a standing mixer with a dough hook and add the remaining flour, mix for 5 to 6 minutes until dough comes together and pulls away from the sides of the bowl, but still sticks to the bottom of the bowl. If you don't have a mixer, by all means knead this by hand. The dough will be very sticky, but resist adding more flour, as you work the dough it will become less sticky and more manageable. Time yourself to make sure you work the dough for the full amount of time.

Place dough in an oiled bowl and let rise until doubled in size. This takes about 1 hour.

When the dough has doubled in size, take it out of the bowl and gently deflate it. Cut the dough into 8 equal pieces and gently form each piece into a small ball.

Line a sheet pan with parchment paper or a silpat mat. Form the balls into flat disks, hamburger bun size.  Place the disks in a 2,1,2,1,2 pattern on the pan.  Let the rolls double in size. When the rolls have risen, very carefully brush with the egg wash and sprinkle with the sesame seeds. Bake in a preheated oven at 375 degrees for 15-17 minutes until golden brown. Cool on a rack.

People always ask, after having these rolls, can the dough be made as hot dog rolls? The answer is yes and they are just as good as the hamburg rolls. To make hotdog rolls, form the divided dough into small logs the length of the sausage you will be using. Place the logs in a side by side row down your baking sheet so that they will touch as they rise. Before you place them on the sheet, brush each side that will touch with melted butter. With the back of a knife, make an indentation all along the top of the roll,  a long line down the center. They will start to look like a New England Hotdog roll. Let rise until about double in size. Skip the egg wash and bake for 15 to 17 minutes. When cool, cut the top indentation ⅔ of the way through. These are perfect for lobster rolls, when brushed with melted butter and grilled on the sides.